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| User: | adunaphel (295958) In here lies a tragedy
art thou player or audience? |
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| Name: | Mr. Ordinary Visionary | |||||
| Location: | Saratoga, New York, United States | |||||
| Birthdate: | 1983-01-01 | |||||
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| AOL IM: |  Adunaphel1183 (Add Buddy, Send Message) | |||||
| Bio: |  ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} with_gustoThe hand that life deals you is at times strange. I am brought into this world a screaming infant, unwilling to enter this mundane world. I shall probably leave it in the same fashion -- unwilling, afraid. Humankind has always had a fear of the unknown; it is perhaps our most primal of instincts. The unknown makes us uncomfortable. The unknown breaks the ordinary routine that we are used to and comfortable with. Dark places are made the lairs of strange, frightening creatures. Abominations. This is how humankind justifies its fear of the unknown. Enter those dark caverns at your own risk, my child, for only God knows what lurks within. We are destined, therefore, to constantly fear; life itself is the unknown. We shall never know what tomorrow will bring. It may bring peace or pain; darkness or light. The unknown is the reason we fear life, but is also the reason we crave it. With the unknown comes humankind’s greatest gift -- hope for tomorrow. My goal in this life is to understand. To understand life’s abysmal depths, its soaring heights. I want to break through the barriers of secrecy that people weave about their souls for fear of being hurt. I want to caress their minds, touch their souls, understand their lives. I want to know the factors that make humankind so barbarically and wonderfully human. We are created of both darkness and of light, and are given the choice to nurture whichever we so choose. Each person lives their life based on these decisions, each choice different. Unfortunately, because human nature is at times shallow, these choices lead to prejudice. These decisions lead to war and, but also lead to one of humankind’s most precious of gifts, the ability to love. Love is a strange thing, and in today’s society, love and lust are too often confused. Modern man has tasted of the flesh and found it to their liking. Our species works so hard to make itself more attractive physically, but rarely mentally. Rarely emotionally. It is a pity, as physical beauty may be bought, whereas mental beauty may only be earned. True beauty. True love. Love is a connection of the minds, not an attraction between flesh. It is a mutual respect between mind and mind; soul and soul. Caress my body and I will lust for you. Caress my mind and I will love you. Lust will last until beauty fades, but love is forever. Some of the most beautiful minds can be found dwelling within the most unattractive of people. The sexiest of bodies have harbored the most sickening of minds. Know thyself, humanity. Know that the stillest of waters run deepest, and realize that looks are deceiving. One must be willing to see while their eyes are closed. When we close our eyes at night, we are immersed in darkness, a blackness born of the chaos between stars. Blackness is all too often equated with evil, a belief that is unfortunate. Few things are as soothing and as peaceful as the blackness of the night’s sky. Look up into the countless stars of nature’s backdrop. The universe is of infinite size, therefore containing an infinite number of stars (and it not of infinite size, certainly large enough to inspire a profound feeling of the infinite). These stars shed their light upon an infinite number of planets, perhaps a handful harboring life. One can look into the vastness of night’s sky, and for a moment, our troubles disappear. What are humanities ailments compared to the grand scale of existence? How much pain and suffering have those stars seen? How much joy and hope? We are alive for fractions upon fractions upon fractions on the cosmic scale. As a star blinks, civilizations rise and fall. Four billion years ago a miraculous thing happened. On a hunk of rock, later to be know as to its creations as Terra Firma, groups of carbon based atoms began to attract to one another and evolve. These groups of atoms eke out their existence, when one day another miracle occurs. Voluntary interaction between these atoms. One group of atoms joins another. The atoms begin to think. For untold billions of year nothing, and inexplicably out of the basest of elements a conscious mind is formed -- minds capable of chemical impulses known as "feelings." All of this from nothing. This is the so-called scientific explanation of creation, but by looking into the night’s sky, we can see it happening amidst the swirling of galaxies. A person looks to the stars and is filled with peace, for he realizes that his problems indeed mean very little. He realizes that what does matter is the interaction between those carbon-based atoms that are you and I. Humanity is what is important. Human beings are wondrous, terrible things. In our hubris we dub ourselves masters of this world, but in reality, so very few of us have indeed earned this title. We are the most intelligent creatures on this planet, and yet we are flawed. We have given rise to war, hatred, politics. We are willing to kill for money, to kill for God. We twist and destroy nature and call it progress. We are the most intelligent race on this planet, and yet so many rush ahead to their deaths. Human life is a thing to be cherished, not thrown away. We have created war and hatred, but also love and empathy. The key to human existence is to recognize our faults, and in doing so, to realize our true potential. We must cherish nature -- by nurturing our world, we in turn nurture ourselves. A man by the name of Fredrick Wilhelm Nietzsche once stated, "Whomever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into the Abyss, the Abyss also looks into you." This is humanity’s error. In fighting to rid the world of monsters, we have ourselves become monsters. We have looked into the darkness, not realizing that it was looking back. In knowing our faults, we may work to correct them. We will fear the change, for it will at times become frightening. Humankind is intelligent, but it is not omniscient. We cannot entirely see what our future holds, but we may always strive towards the best tomorrow possible -- in the book of life, the answers aren’t always in the back. __________ So...its high time I updated this bizatch. I’m a 21 year old student of Psychology and Philosophy living in Prescott, Arizona -- hippy feminist capital of the United States. Now you may ask yourself, "Adun, what’s a dark and gothic type like yourself doing hanging around with a bunch of damn dirty hippies? Surely free love, hallucinogens, and things made of hemp are not for you. Say it aint so!" Well my friends, it gets worse. I am also (apparently) a member of the fundamentalist Psycho-Christian organization known as the Potters House. You go through a haunted house three times in the same day cause you're morbid, and BAM! People think your keen on Jesus. Its not that I’m not keen on Jesus or anything. He's a cool guy. Its just that one of the consequences of studying so many religions is the fact that you don't really subscribe to any of em'. Speaking of Jesus, I have hair longer than most females. Picture a Jesus with less facial hair, dress him up like Fonzi from Happy Days, and there you go. Me. That big shpiel on stars and life and love (the one you just read, stupid) was written about five years ago. Maybe four. Nowadays, probably closer to seven or eight. I'm not good with numbers. Every once in a while I'll post something deeply philosophical like that and throw everyone for a loop. If you liked it, you should also try to dig up the whole "Purple Sun" storyline as well. In fact, I'll stick it in "memories" after I’m finished updating. Just for you. Now nobody can say that Nick never did you any favors. "Justice" aint too bad either. Despite what people (or even myself, for that matter) may say, I'm a pretty damn easy guy to get along with. You really have to earn my ire. I've also been told that I’m not as depressed as my journal suggests. This is more or less I am, however, an evil bastard with a heart as black as coal. Never forget that. That being said, feel free to add me and all that jazz. If your weird enough to be tempted, chances are you're also weird enough for me to find you interesting. __________ if you would just touch him He would love he would grow, he could rest his old soul Maybe he's difficult but he's beautiful Wild at heart troubled mind torn apart seeking his kind __________ Hey look, more updating! No longer does the mighty Adunaphel (who is nearing 23) dwell in the desert that is Prescott. Now I'm back in New York, desperately wishing that I was anywhere else. I also got a haircut, resulting in about an 80% reduction in my friendslist. Yeah, internet friends really are great, aren't they? Anyways, with the loss of my Jesus-like appearance, so too has faded my Christ like faculties of patience for other people and forgiveness. I'll still give you the benefit of the doubt. Once. Here it is in writing. Don't say I didn't warn you, because once you blow it, you aint getting a second. Yeah, I'm a prick. I think we've already been over this. Right? Right. Did I mention that I'm emotionally unstable? Chances are if you got this far, you've noticed. I am just as likely to slice my arm open to watch it bleed as I am to burst into Bohemian Rhapsody with no warning whatsoever while at work. Around men, it doesn't really come up. With women...well...that's an entirely different story. All in all, it would really make my life much easier were I gay. But hey, I'm rambling. .... Still there? Might as well add me. It'll be entertaining, I promise. __________ mentaldisarray: wtf is this, an after school special?!this is seriously the only journal that can go from OMGCUTTINGSLICESLICE to beautiful fall leaves imprinted in the cement. good grief. __________ sanguineheart: You are the torrents of heat, blowing waves crash against the sand, in anger, in pain, in hate you bear your emotions to us. You are the gust of cool air that blows back our hair and urges us to spread our arms... as if we truly could fly. You are the wind, the gentle breeze in spring, whose tender caresses touch the frailest of newborn flowers. __________ um_coeur: We have been talking online for a little over four years and three months. We have a creepy bestfriendsoldcrush kind of relationship. One of these days I must get around to finishing the Who-is-Who thing. Because yeah. Nick's been a huge part of my life at different points in these four years, and so meeting him was... my brain's exploded. | |||||
| Memories:: | 46 entries | |||||
| Interests: | 150: 1920's, 3 stooges, aliens, animals, apparations, arcane lore, astral projection, astrology, astronomy, baldur's gate, beethoven, black magic, blues, books, calvin and hobbes, cartoons, castles, chivalry, classical music, counseling, cowboy bebop, creatures, cryptozoology, cthulhu, cthulhu mythos, cults, daemons, dante, dark, death, demons, depression, disposable soulmates, disturbing, dragonlance, dragons, drama, dreams, edgar allen poe, einstein, elder gods, empathy, eternal doctrine, europe, evergrey, evil, fantasy, fantasy creatures, fear, folklore, gargoyles, ghosts, gods, gothic women, graveyards, grotesque, guns, h.p. lovecraft, h.r. giger, hallucinations, heavy metal, her, honor, honour, horror, horror writers, humans, hypnotism, iced earth, insanity, j.r.r. tolkien, jazz, jennifer crowley, knights, loneliness, long hair, love, macabre, magic, mel brooks, mental disorders, metaphysics, middle ages, middle earth, midnight blue skies, monoliths, monsters, monty python, morbid, mr. skullhead, music, mysticism, mythology, nadziranim, nazgul, nevermore, new psychology, nietzche, nightmares, occult, oddities, old musty books, opeth, pain of salvation, parapsychology, philosophy, photography, prescott, progressive metal, psychology, quantum physics, ravens, reading, redheads, religion, romance, roses, rpg's, runes, scary stories, sci-fi, skulls, solitude, spells, spooky, squid, sublimation, surreal, swords, symbols, symphony x, terror, the 50 muchachos, the color black, the moon, the old ones, the paranormal, the stars, the supernatural, tomes, tophats, truth, unknown things, vampires, walking, warcraft, warm weather, weird stuff, werecreatures, writing | |||||
| Schools: | Miskatonic University - Arkham, MA (2001 - 2005) | |||||
| Friends: | ||||||
| Mutual Friends: | 50: adunaphel, afriendoverseas, aloneinareverie, anthion, asoul_isborn, barrelgal, browniemcgee, chernabog69, circean0circle, confutatis, crypticel, das_luftschloss, dlforever, dumdums, fantasyscribe, flamesea, folksbluesfey, fumanchaw, goffburd, igor_erection, inamoratakitsch, inevitable_doom, joe_bersicker, katielouwho, kisschick1976, liraluna, littleflower518, manyasw, mental_floss, mlfoley, my_heart_lies, nicoli_dominn, nima_skysong, nocturnal, nocturnal_bliss, paean, phoenixflaire, psychosixx, pvtjoker18, raven, reallyspicytaco, rosebud83, sbdww, skelebunny, stefanina, thetranquil, trial_by_flame, um_coeur, with_gusto, zanzara | |||||
| Account type: | Basic Account | |||||
